Motherfucker got a problem? Click or Touch some Butts



Isolationist loner introvert recluse obsessively compulsive about hand hygiene:

Let's be friends.

Commode clogging flushable-wipe hoarding inebriated touchy feely party douche:

Don't stand so Don't stand so Don't stand so close to me Please don't stand so close on me.

If you are self-isolating, THANK YOU KINDLY. Your neighbors thank you. Your adversaries thank you. Just for you and nobody else but you: 19 distractionary BUTTS to engage, excite, enrage, delight you, infect, protect, deflect, redirect you. Click a BUTT. But a click will produce something randomly entertaining or educational to provide relief from the greatest media blitz since 9/11.

Hendrix 68

A random selection from the top 100 songs of the 21st Century. The number denotes its ranking. You are advised to seek it out and handle it with a listening device. Hit the BUTT again if you not be liking duh chawz.

El Lissitzky

101 pretty decent visual artists. Proceed to the provided Wiki link and peruse the available works of this visionary, this prophet, this socially inept genius.

White Stripes

Seek out this randomly selected album, insert some earbuds, and test yourself by making a list of all the instruments you can identify on each track. Then, google the answers. There. Now you've killed 2 hours and expanded your mind. Time for a nap.


Astronomy picture of the day: Discover the cosmos! Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a math teacher with gingivitis coffee breath.

Mark Twain

Thiddy-Five Mark Twain quotes.

black Shakespeare

Shakespeare is better read than observed from a theatre seat, unless it's naptime. I've chosen these quotes. As you BUTT your way through, you'll observe some relevance to our current state of lockdown. The plague was the most dreaded disease of William's time.


Apollo in real time is a superb app created by a software engineer with NASA's cooperation. Well worth a click, the site is best enjoyed with a laptop or desktop browser. Click the icon for full screen once you're in the app. Be forewarned that the familiar communication 'beeps' as ground control talks with Major Tom, may upset any household K-9s.
A great immersive app for space enthusiasts. Highly recommended.

Yoga Poses

Pick a pose. Try one or all. Careful! A broken toe may be easily procured when moving from Downward Facing Dog into a low lunge. The uncooperative digit may choose not to curl forward in time.

This app here DownDog is great for self-quarantine. For around $20 per annum, it's a bargain.

Magic 8

The Magic 8-Ball is a plastic sphere, made to look like an eight-ball, that is used for fortune-telling or seeking advice. It was invented in 1950 by Albert C. Carter and Abe Bookman and is currently manufactured by Mattel. The user asks a yes–no question to the ball and then turns it over to reveal an answer in a window on the ball. Think of a question then have at the Butt.


Rank, year, album title, artist. A random choice from Rolling Stone again. Although my sources say no, these are, you may rely on it, The Top 50 Albums Of All Time. All time! There will never be greater albums, ever. The greatest era was but a window between 1959 and 1984.


WREK is the entirely student managed, operated, and engineered radio station of Georgia Tech broadcasting 24/7 on 91.1 FM with 100,000 watts of quality, diverse programming. You can listen online and browse through the 14-day archive of specialty shows, sound blocks, sports, and public affairs programming. But be forewarned: the audio files in the archive aren't always reliable. I tried to listen to 'Lost in Oscillation' last night at 128k, but the file only streamed for about 5 minutes before quitting. I tried twice more with the same result. This has happened to me multiple times in the past with different programs. I love the diverse programming format, but not the inconsistency. WREK is especially fresh when my ears grow tired of more conventional music.


Those of you who listen to audio books know, that the narrator's voice is as important as the writing. This selection of titles is numbered, but not ranked. None of them induce sleep; not unimportant while operating machinery.


Choice reads. Be it non- or fiction, these titles proved affecting for a middle-aged follicle-challenged heterosexual caucasoid with an agenda to learn how much it (shouldn't want to take the masculine pronoun here, so as not to offend those who are undecided), how much it doesn't know. By fingering the BUTT button you agree to search out a description of the randomly selected title and determine if it's worth your attention during your extended leave of absence.

Taylor Gates

Do your homework. Did you know that Bill Gates is held in as high esteem by students in China as American students hold Taylor Swift? Please ... for the love of ongoing Super Power status ... DO YOUR HOMEWORK, and stop comparing kill-counts in your video games.

Vacuum smoking

One star reviews at Amazon. Butt click displays a random review. If you're not completely satisfied, click again.

  • CS = chess set
  • TB = toilet brush
  • VC = vacuum cleaner
  • BR = blackhead remover
  • HM = herpes medication
  • HP = hair piece for men

Netflix world

FB recommendations on binge-worthy Netflix series and movies. BUTT click will reveal the results.

Sun City Girls

More adventurous music listeners have finally arrived at a deeper BUTT excursion opportunity. Some of these albums may prove hard to find. Contributed by musician friends of mine, an album may just be a title and artist, or include an expansive description. Seek them out and you might find a new favorite. Highly recommended!

Orange flowers

What's in an image? How would you analyze someone who would share this?


We've bottomed out. This is it. The finalé. What will this BUTT reveal?

inFrequently Asked Questions

Who always benefits from calamity?

An F5 tornado levels an Oklahoma town killing dozens. Terrorists murder thousands above the streets of NY. A tsunami kills hundreds of thousands in Indonesia. Riots and unrest result in millions of dollars of property destruction, job loss, arrests and casualties. A pandemic spreads worldwide and kills half a million and counting. Who benefits? The news media. No matter how bloody awful, the media always banks on tragedy, calamity, destruction, mayhem, terrorism, pessimism, corruption, and pain. If it bleeds it leads indeed. PHUK DUH MEDIA.

Presumption of innocence: should we discard this concept?

For the past few decades citizens have been tried and convicted in a blatantly biased news media before they stood trial. So influential is the media, that should a jury find the defendant innocent of the charge(s) riots break out. These riots are newsworthy, thus good for the media.

Although the Constitution of the United States does not cite it explicitly, presumption of innocence is widely held to follow from the Fifth, Sixth, and Fourteenth Amendments. The case of Coffin v. United States (1895) established the presumption of innocence of persons accused of crimes.

Is it even possible today for those who see videos to remain impartial until a trial? I read the news and listen to the radio and hear verdicts already pronounced. Should we discard the presumption of innocence?

Another consideration, brought up today on the radio. Today is June 1st, 2020. A Massachusetts politician noteworthy for being outspoken about keeping businesses closed, social distancing and keeping to groups of 10 or less, was seen marching with thousands of protestors this past weekend in Boston. What happened to Kung Flu? Suddenly, everyone's immune, including this politician?

During his presidency Jimmy Carter pushed for the U.S. to go metric. It's 2020, why isn't America metric yet?

In 1975, Congress passed the Metric Conversion Act, which declared metric as the preferred system of the United States, and the U.S. Metric Board was created to implement the conversion. America began testing road signs in kilometers under President Jimmy Carter, who supported efforts to go metric. If Carter hadn't gotten involved the U.S. would be metric by now. It had nothing to do with Stagflation or his choice of fireside sweaters. Even those who voted for Carter didn't like Carter. Today he's popular because he can't be President ever again.

What's it like to be anonymous?

  • Driving down the highway receive middle finger salutes.
  • Tailgaters ride your ass 'cuz you're in their way.
  • You think 50 likes on FB is a lot.
  • You can slip in and out of the population unnoticed. [Terrorists love this]
  • Grocery cashiers converse as if you're not there. [Could also be a teenager thing]
  • This from the NY Times: Anonymity on the Internet has often made people nastier and more crude in their speech. It allows them to speak and do things without having to take responsibility. Anonymity allows people to unleash their id and all the ugliness they conceal beneath their polite facades. - Mar 11, 2016 [Phuk awf ya donkey raping shiteater.]

Is plasma gasification the solution for plastics and all wastes?

Since the Chinese stopped taking our shit... looka here: Plastics Today article. My folks and I saw a plasma torch demonstrated at Georgia Tech in the early 2000s. The future of waste remediation. A plasma torch can reduce a landfill by 90% volume leaving inert glass-like rock while emitting hydrogen and natural gas that can be captured for energy purposes. The technology was developed to test the heat shields for capsule reentry during NASA missions. It's been around for decades. What stands in the way of implementing this technology now? That is the question. Garbage collection and the mafia? Politicians? Pay-offs? NAAAAAA. Surely not in Los Estados Unidos.

Helicopters on Mars? Are you yanking my lariet?

The Mars Helicopter is a planned robotic helicopter that will test the technology to scout interesting targets for study on Mars, and help plan the best driving route for future Mars rovers.
The small drone helicopter will be deployed in 2021 from the planned Perseverance rover as part of the Mars 2020 mission. It is expected to fly up to five times during its 30-day test campaign, early in the rover's mission, as it is primarily a technology demonstration. Each flight will take no more than 3 minutes, at altitudes ranging from 3 m to 10 m above the ground, but it could potentially cover a maximum distance of about 300 m (980 ft) per flight. It will use autonomous control and communicate with the Perseverance rover directly after each landing.
If it works as expected, NASA will be able to build on the design for future Mars missions.
FUTURE: This technology demonstration will form the foundation on which more capable helicopters can be developed for more ambitious missions to planets and moons with an atmosphere. The next generation of rotorcraft may be in the range between 5 and 15 kg with science payloads between 0.5 and 1.5 kg. These potential aircraft could have direct communication to an orbiter and may or may not continue to work with a landed asset. Future helicopters could be used to explore special regions with exposed water ice or brines where Earth microbial life could potentially survive. Mars helicopters may also be considered for fast retrieval of small sample caches back to a Mars ascent vehicle for return to Earth.